So the concept of "the perfect parent" amuses me. Silly right? There are no perfect parents as there are no perfect people. However I think most of us try our best to make the right choices and do the right thing when it comes to our kids. Of course I fall short of my expectations frequently and continue to internally berate myself over and over everytime, all the while still trying to dust the proverbial dirt off my knees and keep on moving.
Yes, I try my hardest to meet my own parental goals as much as possible ... you know ... keep my temper in check. Try to keep my screaming fits down to 2 or 3 episodes a day ... er ...I mean week. Be present with my kids as much as I can. You know listen to them more and look at my iphone less. Get them to like healthy foods, remain active, harvest their creativity and love of reading.... yada yada yada and blah blah blah and that stuff. Frankly, I have enough of my own personal benchmarks to try and fail at, that I'm really starting to resent the fact there are people out there who seem to think I should adopt all their "perfect parent" benchmarks too.
Hogwash I say!
You want to deprive your kid of the occasional snack food because you feel that the "toxins" of the commercial prepackaged food world will will turn your child into some green glowing alien-like blob, be my guest. Go ahead and ply them with only the best all natural organically and locally grown fruits and vegetables. Feed them only soy burgers and seitan steaks. That's your choice, but beyond the EXTRAORDINARY amount of whining I would have to put up with, I always fear this kind of extremisim can only lead to a rebellous junk-food-junkie who will secretly end up getting a majority of their meals at an On The Run store. But that's just me.
Hey, I'm all for eating healthy. I personally am not fond of it, but I do my best to do so myself, and to make sure my kids make good choices most of the time. There is a happy medium between feeding your child twigs and berries (organic of course!) and giving them a Mountain Dew and bag of Doritos for dinner for cripes sakes! I do like that my kids will choose to eat raw tomatos and peppers for a snack, but I'm not gonna lie when I say that sometimes a Kid's Cuisine is a mom's best friend!
Another "perfect parent" benchmark seems to be the one who never lets their kids watch TV!!! HELLOOOOOOO!!! Now we have a huge problem. Did I mention I LOVE TV!!! Yes, there is no greater comfort or relaxing activity for me than to plop on the couch after the kids are in bed and watch my shows. The DVR has liternally changed my life!!! So how is it again that I'm going to then tell my children that they are not allowed to watch any TV without them thinking that mommy has lost her ever loving mind???? Again... moderation here people. I do set boundaries and limits on everything, but what parent hasn't found it absolutely necessary to allow thier kids their fix of Hannah Montana or Spongebob so we can cook dinner in peace. Or heck ... go tinkle! Hey call me pedestrian all you want, but I see no harm in providing a little "kid crack" when needed. Sprinkled on in the right amounts and at the right time can literally save you more pain and heartache than you have ever thought possible.
Yeah, I know its probably not the healthiest thing that I have my 15 month old watch BabyFirst TV while I feed him his meals. I'm sure I'll have to be breaking THAT habit in a year or so, but do you know how hard it is to feed this child when he's not otherwise distracted?????
No?
Okay I'll tell you. If he only has me and the food to focus on, well then he will eat NOTHING! He will toss all the food on the floor or at me, or squish it all over his shirt or stuff it in his diaper. This is on a good day. Allowing him to watch his favorite television channel while he absent- mindedly plops his food in his mouth instead of all over my carpet is literally saving me hours a week in cleaning and laundry time. Not to mention the sanity part. Yeah yeah, I know .... if I don't break this habit someday soon, he will probably be on my TV in 20 years on the 2029 version of The Biggest Loser lamenting to the camera about how he didn't know how he got so fat? *Sigh* I figure I have a little time to let this slide until I have to go and be that "perfect parent" again.
So my son has his BabyFirst TV (Dang that Tec the Tractor!) and my girls love their Hannah Montana, Zack & Cody, iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place and Spongebob (just to name a few...ha ha) and I am the parent who happily doles out this "kid crack" in just enough doses to make all of us happy. Is this something I am proud of? Hmmmm probably not, but I don't feel guilty about it either. I know my kids are well adjusted. I keep them well balanced between TV, reading, school work and physical activity. However, somedays you just find yourself letting them sit there watching hour after hour of a Spongebob marathon because ... well .... look at all the housework you got done!!!
Oh and then there is the merchandising of it all!!! I know the Disney and Nickelodeon Machine's are using me, but I still embrace it at times. I do say no quite a lot (just ask my kids) but seeing their eyes light up when they get that Hannah Montana lunchbox or lipgloss set is sometimes worth it. A little more "kids crack" to keep them in line and on the hook is not always a bad thing right? RIGHT?????
Lastly, there is The Wii. The Holy Grail of Kids Crack, and we don't even own one ... yet. Well if it were up to my husband we never will because he is of that "perfect parent" mentallity that all video game machines are the Devil! I tend to agree with him on this to a degree. There will never be a PlayStation or Nintendo machine in our house. Those damn things ARE evil. Not only are they the most addicting of all the "kids crack", but they mess with your mind I'm certain of it! They can make you see crosseyed and you'll start playing those games in your dreams!!! I know it. I've been there. It's a dark dark place I tell ya. Heck, I play the innocent little Bejeweled Blitz game on my computer every now and then before bed. I'll look up to find that 2 hours have passed and all I've done with my time is sorted some dang shapes into groups like some futurisitic pre schooler!
However, The Wii is different. The Wii is interactive and it encourages a healthier gaming experience. I know ... the good "kids crack" dealer that I am, I've done my research. All my girls' friends have The Wii, even the friend who doesn't have cable! My girls want one sooooooo badly they're willing to give up all other Christmas gifts JUST to get The Wii. I know this kinda of willing sacrifice should be a warning to me, but I have to say that I am on board now too. I DO see the benefit ... especially to me! Gross winter day .... no school ... no way we are getting outside. Kids are cooped up and arguing incessantly. HELLO!!!! How about a a little Wii Bowling for a fun (and healthy!) diversion??? Of course, we still need to work on "daddy," and I'll keep you posted on our progress. We have a few months to break him!
So basically this not-so-perfect parent sees no (or very little harm) in the occassional "kids crack" indulgence. It serves two purposes really. Give your kids some pleasure, and give mom some free time and less stress! Now if I could only get that dang "Best of Both Worlds" song out of my head!
MEOW!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Moonkitty Lives! (AKA: Why I am here blogging?)
Well hello MOOOOOOONKITTY!!!!! You have been missed.
Who is Moonkitty you ask and why is this blog named after her. Well Moonkitty is not a "her", she is me. Or who I was seventeen some odd years ago when I created her in college. She was the most fearless, wonderfully crazy part of me, or at least thats how I have glorified her in my mind. I invented Moonkitty for my college Alternative Music radio show and it became my DJ identity. I think this was in 1991-92 but I'm not really certain of my memory and what Stay-At-Home Mom has the time to ponder anything as silly as important dates in our past? (Sidenote: In all my blogs I will now use the short hand acronym for Stay at Home Mom from now on. The reason of course is because what SAHM has the friggin time to type the whole thing out!)
Well anyway, Moonkitty, or the woman who I was in college, was as Tyra Banks would say, FIERCE!!!! Sure there were many naive, foolish and downright stupid things about me back then, but there were oh so many good things too. GREAT THINGS! Its not that I don't embrace who I am now, or don't love myself. And this isn't going to be some blog where I reinvent myself and do crazy things to escape some mundane housewife malaise. Oh no, I love my life. Well usually. However, there has been something missing for awhile now, and I think I just discovered that it isn't a "thing" at all, but a "who". The "who" is that totally confident and self motivated heroine I used to know. The one never afraid to speak her mind, take risks, embrace fear, and rarely give a rat's ass what the neighbors would think. Yes, the period in my life when I was known as Moonkitty represented a part of me I've been lacking lately and I'm calling her back damnit!
So this blog is not so much about "being Moonkitty," as it is just the first action taken in rediscovering her. Moonkitty would totally have a blog.
Yes sadly though, somewhere along the way I lost my voice. I stopped feeling like what I had to say mattered in the grand scheme of things, or that people would care at all or would like what I had to say. Somewhere along the way through my twenties, getting married, having a career and kids, my self identity kinda went into the fetal position. More worried about "being accepted"and "fitting in" all these various communities became more important than being my full authentic self. However, even within the context of this little identity crisis of mine, inside I have ALWAYS been proud of who I am, of what I think, feel and believe ...I just became too afraid that others would not be. I guess I got too self conscious and repressed, and to that woman I used to be, the loss of that self expression is like death. But I am now choosing the reincarnation of Moonkitty.
Indeed Moonkitty Lives! I'm just now Moonkitty Mama, a smarter, wiser and more life-learned woman version of that former college girl. This blog will serve as my outlet to muse, reflect and share the random, sometimes funny, sad, pathetic, silly, important and frivilous things I come across in my life. But it is bigger than just me. It is about the joys and struggles we all have as mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters, but just told through the experiences of my life. I don't know if anyone out there will read or like this blog even as I publish new entries every week or so. I'm just a one voice here on the world wide web posting among billions. My hope is that SOMEBODY finds me here and can relate to my blogs, or heck .... at the least be mildly entertained. This is my sincere hope, but I'm done being fearful about it. I'm done overthinking it, and wondering what people will do or not do, think or not think. Whether this just becomes my personal on-line diary to help me reflect on my life, or whether it ends up speaking to thousands (or more!) I'm putting myself out there dang it. Self Expressing!!!!!
Lastly, I have been wondering why my son Brody who is nearly 15 months has been "meowing" incessantly for weeks yet not uttered more than 2 or 3 "human words". Well I may be blonde (a natural one thank you!) and a little slow.... but I get it now Brody.... you are not in need of developmental testing afterall, but you are actually a genius! You've been sending me messages from my past all this time. I hear ya buddy, and I'm finally listening. Moonkitty Lives and for now she'll be right here blogging all about it!
MEOW!
Kira (aka "Moonkitty Mama")
PS: Next entry tomorrow!
Who is Moonkitty you ask and why is this blog named after her. Well Moonkitty is not a "her", she is me. Or who I was seventeen some odd years ago when I created her in college. She was the most fearless, wonderfully crazy part of me, or at least thats how I have glorified her in my mind. I invented Moonkitty for my college Alternative Music radio show and it became my DJ identity. I think this was in 1991-92 but I'm not really certain of my memory and what Stay-At-Home Mom has the time to ponder anything as silly as important dates in our past? (Sidenote: In all my blogs I will now use the short hand acronym for Stay at Home Mom from now on. The reason of course is because what SAHM has the friggin time to type the whole thing out!)
Well anyway, Moonkitty, or the woman who I was in college, was as Tyra Banks would say, FIERCE!!!! Sure there were many naive, foolish and downright stupid things about me back then, but there were oh so many good things too. GREAT THINGS! Its not that I don't embrace who I am now, or don't love myself. And this isn't going to be some blog where I reinvent myself and do crazy things to escape some mundane housewife malaise. Oh no, I love my life. Well usually. However, there has been something missing for awhile now, and I think I just discovered that it isn't a "thing" at all, but a "who". The "who" is that totally confident and self motivated heroine I used to know. The one never afraid to speak her mind, take risks, embrace fear, and rarely give a rat's ass what the neighbors would think. Yes, the period in my life when I was known as Moonkitty represented a part of me I've been lacking lately and I'm calling her back damnit!
So this blog is not so much about "being Moonkitty," as it is just the first action taken in rediscovering her. Moonkitty would totally have a blog.
Yes sadly though, somewhere along the way I lost my voice. I stopped feeling like what I had to say mattered in the grand scheme of things, or that people would care at all or would like what I had to say. Somewhere along the way through my twenties, getting married, having a career and kids, my self identity kinda went into the fetal position. More worried about "being accepted"and "fitting in" all these various communities became more important than being my full authentic self. However, even within the context of this little identity crisis of mine, inside I have ALWAYS been proud of who I am, of what I think, feel and believe ...I just became too afraid that others would not be. I guess I got too self conscious and repressed, and to that woman I used to be, the loss of that self expression is like death. But I am now choosing the reincarnation of Moonkitty.
Indeed Moonkitty Lives! I'm just now Moonkitty Mama, a smarter, wiser and more life-learned woman version of that former college girl. This blog will serve as my outlet to muse, reflect and share the random, sometimes funny, sad, pathetic, silly, important and frivilous things I come across in my life. But it is bigger than just me. It is about the joys and struggles we all have as mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters, but just told through the experiences of my life. I don't know if anyone out there will read or like this blog even as I publish new entries every week or so. I'm just a one voice here on the world wide web posting among billions. My hope is that SOMEBODY finds me here and can relate to my blogs, or heck .... at the least be mildly entertained. This is my sincere hope, but I'm done being fearful about it. I'm done overthinking it, and wondering what people will do or not do, think or not think. Whether this just becomes my personal on-line diary to help me reflect on my life, or whether it ends up speaking to thousands (or more!) I'm putting myself out there dang it. Self Expressing!!!!!
Lastly, I have been wondering why my son Brody who is nearly 15 months has been "meowing" incessantly for weeks yet not uttered more than 2 or 3 "human words". Well I may be blonde (a natural one thank you!) and a little slow.... but I get it now Brody.... you are not in need of developmental testing afterall, but you are actually a genius! You've been sending me messages from my past all this time. I hear ya buddy, and I'm finally listening. Moonkitty Lives and for now she'll be right here blogging all about it!
MEOW!
Kira (aka "Moonkitty Mama")
PS: Next entry tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)